I knew the charm of Indian traditions and accessories which comes with the institution of marriage. It would be wrong to say that being a woman of this age, I wanted to free myself from these traditions. After all, what do we carry forward to our kids and more importantly, what will be the backbone of all your beliefs? If chanting the name of Shiva calms your heartbeat, whispering the Maha Mantra, frees you from worldly guilt and greed, then what’s wrong with taking solace in them? Isn’t it?
You say I am religious, well, I just know what to believe and in whom I have to keep my faith. I am not the type who wakes up at 5 am and takes a shower and offers water to the deity. I am the silent whisperer.
Coming back to Indian traditions, there are some Bengali rituals, which aren’t necessarily done in front of the deity. For example, the shaka (white shell bangles) and paula (red coral bangles) are gifted by the bride's mother on the afternoon of the wedding day.
This piece of writing is for that particular ritual only. I am on my way to Benaras and this road trip is bringing a lot of thoughts. Post-wedding, I am wearing all sorts of accessories. Shaka-paula, mangal sutra and sindoor (vermilion), anklets and toe-rings are some of them.
I was sitting in my bedroom on the afternoon of my wedding day. The haldi ceremony was done and I was in a fix on what items I had to pack for the salon for the d-day look. A lot had to be done in very less time. I now realise that I didn't have the time for 10 days to be even nervous or think about what will happen or how will it happen. It was a packed schedule from morning 7 am to midnight. So coming back to my bedroom where I was arranging things and my mother came to me with her sister (my maternal aunt). She took my hands and made me wear the shaka and paula in both hands with noa (iron bangle) in one hand. As she was doing that I could see she was chanting god's names. It was so precious and serene. At that moment, her prayers got exceeded for my husband too. Mothers are beautiful. They know how to give. They are selfless, pure and unbiased people. That memory is so deeply etched, it will take another birth to forget that.
I think there is a reason for these traditions. These small little ceremonies give you memories, and attachment with things to remember those people who are so important. Big laughs and tiny wet moments, these things stay with us. Now, when I sit alone and wonder what happened in the past few days, I recollect the weariness. I was so exhausted near the date of the wedding.
My elder sister came to the rescue. She must have been more tired than me. After all, she played my elder brother too. Running to the market ten times a day and going all over the house so that everything is right in place.
She didn't even need any help. She was a one-strong army. I may have prepared for that day for months, but she came and gave me the confidence, affinity and sense of being loved. We had too little time to talk but we had our moments. Moments of sisterhood and care. She is a strong woman. I know. It takes a lot. I know.
After all the wedding hues, I am thankful for many, many things. But now, at the moment, I am grateful to you for the sister I have. And God, how you created her with all her elements and shades, everything, you nailed it.
See ya!
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