I have had a very mixed childhood. In terms of emotional support, I was very much inclined toward finding solace in my own thoughts. Well, not complaining but now that I am in my mid-twenties, I am discovering the importance of emotional comfort. What is emotional comfort? Why is it important?
We all must be having at least one problem which is old and just continuing. You don't know what to do about that and you just cry or crib or get frustrated at times. You know in your heart that there is no solution, there is nothing you can do, but when life throws you another problem, you tend to connect the new one with the old-continuing one. Every time you face a new problem, no matter how big or small, it just becomes excruciating because of the old-continuing one. So when that happens, there comes emotional comfort to the rescue. It can come in the form of anything. Your friend, your father, your dog, your kids playing, a stranger, a trip alone or just some experience which makes you realise why you are sad.
Some consolations are not about seeking solutions, but venting out whatever goes on within you. Imagine, taking all out one by one like unloading a heap of cement bags and your mind, after that, just frees up some space.
As comforting as it is to have someone to share your griefs, it's also lovely to have someone who lays his trust in us to share their sorrows. Imagine again, being in a relationship where the other one is just sad all the time and you just sit there and wonder all the time, "is it me", "did I do something", "it must be because I told him to do something"! People know they love each other when they are open about their circumstances. No judgements, no taunts and no past stories! Simply having a conversation where one is sad and the other one is listening, making her a hot chocolate and they both are sipping and talking. One is teary, and the other one, maybe worried about the hot chocolate getting cold, listens.
Some consolations are not about the solutions, but it is only about listening.
There are people out there so fortunate that others find solace in them. It's not a burden or a responsibility to listen, it's love and only love. How lucky are you that people trust you with their innermost insecurities? Is there an intensity of that amount of luck?
How fortunate are you to have that one person who runs and leaves behind the world to just come talk to you and vent out everything? Don't you feel loved?
In the tales of cribbing, the role of the cribber may be inevitable, but the listener holds the position of ultimate respect. In a world where you should share your stuff, share your grief first, and if you are the listener, try to do the listening with no judgements, no taunts and no past stories!
Share and care, Toodles!
In the last of the second stanza u said about the realisation, of sadness, and the reason behind it. i think when we feel a hole, or feeling something strange, it always ends up with the answer that why I’m sad, really I needed to be like that!?. And that answer also helps us to over come the situation.